sometimes it's hard to grasp this thought
that there're so many people out there , SO many , each with a mind of his own , dreams of his  own
foolishness of his own
so many gone , and so many are still to come
it's endless , massive maze of details
it leaves me feeling helpless sometimes , that however original an idea is ,it's hard not to think that there must be someone , somwhere , thought of this before or even at the same time as you did
it's hard to be new , it's hard to be unique or one of a kind in a world like this
but you won't have to be distressed about this ,
maybe it's a bliss that you don't have to reinvent the wheel , that you won't have to rediscover the dark roads
and it's definitely a bliss to watch the creativity of all these minds , at one point of a time , a bliss to watch all these differences
a bliss to observe that there's never a" copy and paste" in a feature or a smile or a print of a human being
we're different though we sometimes don't realize it , as we 've been packed in categories and stereotypes
but in a deeper level , you're not like anybody , you're you

you can still be unique in this huge, old ,played-all-the-tricks world

is it out of your hand to be who you are ?
to be who you want to be ?
is it your birth mark ?
or is it possible that we can challenge our genes , how we're raised , all the childhood mistakes
and build ourselves all over again ?
do we have what it takes to reborn ?

i still insist on writing , though no one is reading
but it's ok , let it be my dark room , here , i'll just le it be !
there're days , and in my case , they're plenty , when you can't tell if you're blessed or cursed
can't define if you're really miserable , or you made it up
don't know why you are in this place and stuck with these people
don't know whether you like these people , or you just got used to them , or simply there're no other options !
don't know if life didn't get your messages , or they were mixed up with someone else's
can't tell if you're too stupid , or too smart
then it gets hard , and really confusing , and you wish you don't have to deal with all these questions today
or tomorrow , and you'll get busy to distract them away
but you'll never get busy enough to escape from yourself

it's not easy , when everyone expecting you to be the good girl , regardless of anything
as if it's a default in the female character to behave according to society measures
even if it's tightly fitting her mind and soul
we have this rigid lines of wrong and right , red , flaming and unapproachable
we have one version of the good girl with no updates , and we often like to believe what we see
we like to read the story from a cover of a book , though all it holds is a vague title , and maybe it's the wrong cover even !
and why is it always expected of a girl to be good ? , if we were all good girls , who're the bad ones then ?